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"Here's to the New Year: May she be a damned sight better than the old one, and may we all be home before she's over."

(~Colonel Potter dressed as Father Time; said at the beginning and again near the end of this episode)

A War for All Seasons was the 6th episode of Season 9 of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, also the 204th overall series episode. Written by Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford and directed by Burt Metcalfe, it originally aired on December 29, 1980 and was repeated September 28, 1981.

Synopsis[]

With the 20th Century "now officially half-kaput", the new year does not come without its share of events - everything from corn-on-the-cob to kidney machines, from knitting needles to the National League.

Full episode summary[]

The clock has struck midnight on New Year's Day. In the Mess Tent, the camp is ringing in 1951 singing Auld Lang Syne, and Potter, dressed as Father Time, offers up a toast to the new year with the hope that everyone will be home before it's over. This scene begins a chain of events that take place over the course of the year ahead.

New Year's Day 1951: Klinger, Hawkeye, and B.J. model their new winter coats they ordered from a Sears catalog. Margaret decides she wants to see the catalog herself, but Klinger traded it to the 8063rd in exchange for party decorations; he then tells her the next catalog should show up around Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day: Everyone else is wanting a shot at the new Sears catalog: Margaret is looking to order knitting supplies (and hopefully a winter jacket, which the Army unhelpfully failed to provide), Father Mulcahy orders some gardening supplies, Klinger orders a baseball glove, and Hawkeye and B.J. order a new radio.

April: Klinger and Potter enter into a friendly argument over who's going to win the World Series; Klinger favors the Brooklyn Dodgers, while Missourian Potter backs his beloved St. Louis Cardinals. Believing the war will be over before season's end, they both put down $20 on whoever is ahead by the Fourth of July. Margaret gets her knitting supplies and begins working on a pot holder, and Father Mulcahy, with his new garden supplies, is busy planting corn, carnations, and sunflowers. Hawkeye and B.J. are driving classical devotee Charles crazy with their new radio, which is currently playing popular music.

June: Hawkeye and B.J. contemplate ordering a fake electric fireplace from the Sears catalog. In Post Op, the doctors are faced with having to ship another belly-wounded patient on the verge of renal shutdown to the 11th EVAC Hospital in distant Wonju, which is the only hospital in Asia with an artificial kidney machine; even shipping kidney patients off doesn't improve their chances, as some of them die before they can make it there. Hawkeye reasons that he and B.J. could build their own kidney machine there in camp; B.J. is dubious, but Hawkeye cites Dr. Kolff's research and information and is convinced they can copy from him, so they borrow several books to do their own research. Meanwhile, Margaret's pot holder has morphed into a scarf, and Father Mulcahy's corn is growing on schedule. When Klinger hints that the Dodgers are up by nine games in the NL, Potter is certain their lead will be gone by the Fourth of July, which motivates Mulcahy to throw a camp picnic on the Fourth and serve up his corn-on-the-cob.

4th Of July: Margaret's scarf has now become a sweater she is making for a pilot she met on R&R in Tokyo. And Father Mulcahy is horrified when he sees that Igor has turned his corn into creamed mush. With the Dodgers up by 8 1/2 games in the National League, Klinger wins the bet with Potter, but then gives him a chance to win it back by giving him the rest of the league against the Dodgers at double odds at season's end, which Hawkeye and B.J. both get in on. When Potter ups his bet to $50, Klinger can't cover his bet, but Charles, sensing a chance to make some easy money, covers for Klinger with his own $50.

August: Hawkeye and B.J. are trying to enjoy their new fake fireplace, but it's hard to do in the August heat (as Charles points out). With the Dodgers now up by a whopping 13 1/2 games, Charles smugly tries to rope more people into the bet; Hawkeye and B.J. want no part of it, and Klinger is certain Charles won't get any takers, but believing that the key lies in raising the odds, Charles bumps the odds to 6 to 1, which Potter can't resist and doubles his bet to $100. Klinger warns Charles not to rock the boat, but Charles, convinced of a sure thing, intends to "fleece every sheep in the neighborhood".

September: Hawkeye and B.J. are having issues with their kidney machine, and Margaret's sweater is now a blanket for her bed, as she broke up with her pilot boyfriend. Hawkeye gets an inspiration, and he and B.J. go to order more parts for their kidney machine - from the Sears catalog. They successfully find a bathtub, but are frustrated yet again when the catalog doesn't have any plastic tubing, so they have Klinger order a case of sausage casings from his beloved Tony Packo's back in Toledo. The Dodgers' lead in the NL has shrunk back to eight games, and Charles doesn't like it; two weeks later, the New York Giants pull to within four games of the Dodgers, and Charles warns Klinger, "If I wind up in debt, you're gonna wind up in traction!"

October (3rd): At the end of the regular season, the Giants and Dodgers are tied for the lead in the "Senior Circuit", so the two teams have a best-of-three playoff for the NL Pennant. With so much money at stake and people involved, the deciding third game is piped over the camp's PA system. Charles is certain of a shoo-in, but a panicked Klinger goes into hiding to avoid Charles' wrath. Bobby Thomson wins the game and pennant for the Giants with a walk-off three-run homer in the bottom of the ninth (which has come to be known as the historic "Shot Heard 'Round the World"). As the announcer shouts the iconic call, "The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!" Klinger wails in defeat, Charles faints in the compound still holding his cap, and the rest of the camp wildly cheers the Giants' miraculous win.

November: Hawkeye and B.J.'s finally get their kidney machine working properly. Hawkeye announces the good news to their latest patient, and that he will be shipped to Wonju for more treatment before he goes home. The patient asks if he'll be home in time for Thanksgiving; B.J. answers, "Probably not, but get a date for New Year's Eve."

New Year's Day 1952: The episode ends in the Mess Tent with the camp ringing in 1952 in the same way as the previous year. Potter, again dressed as Father Time, somberly repeats the exact same toast as before, which meets with a much quieter reception, and Hawkeye and B.J. despondently go back to the Swamp as snow falls on the camp. Potter then shows a film of newsreel highlights from 1951, including footage of Thomson's winning home run. Seeing this, Charles goes berserk, bellowing in rage has he slashes the screen with a large knife and screams, "Where IS that Lebanese mongoose??!"

Research notes/Fun facts[]

  • This is another format-busting episode: covering the events of an entire year in just thirty minutes.
  • M*A*S*H officially observed its 200th episode broadcast on CBS with this episode.
  • Hawkeye refers to Dr. Willem Kolff, who is credited with creating the artificial kidney machine, which today has become a kidney dialysis machine. Both B.J. and Hawkeye refer to the kidney machine as if just been invented, though Kolff initially used his machine successfully in 1945; it was first used in the United States on January 26, 1948.
  • In the Springtime scene, Hawkeye and B.J. are lounging outside the Swamp and listening to their new radio, on which the song "Ragg Mopp" is playing, when Charles (ever the devotee of classical) storms outside screaming, "I cannot stand it! The world's gone truly mad! Those people can neither sing nor spell!". But Hawkeye only shrugs Charles off saying "Hey, Daddy-O, you don't dig our 'raddy-O', get off our patio!" (with B.J. adding "Fatty-O.")
    • The song was a hit for the Ames Brothers in 1950 (the version used in the episode was different).
  • Bearing in mind that this episode takes place throughout the year 1951, there are numerous anachronisms including, but by no means limited to the following: (For more details, see Anachronisms in M*A*S*H; also see TVTropes.)
    • Potter's initial arrival in camp, which is announced by the PA as September 19, 1952 ("Change of Command").
    • B.J. arrived in camp for the first time exactly one week before Potter's arrival ("Welcome To Korea").
    • Bobby Thompson's home run happened on October 3, 1951; but in "Radar's Report", the date is given as October 17, 1951 (and Frank and Trapper were still at the 4077th).
    • The following events (only a few of many examples) are dated after the events of this episode, but feature Frank Burns still at the 4077th:
  • The events of this episode also beg the question: "When did Charles first arrive in camp?" His arrival at the beginning of Season 6 replacing Frank Burns would suggest that he was only in camp for the final few months of the Korean War itself, but Charles' inclusion in some episodes that mention the date and year would, by comparison, certainly overlap Frank's time at the 4077th. Had the show stuck to the real Korean War timeline, Frank Burns would have been out by June 1953, and Winchester would have only been at the 4077th 2 to 4 weeks.
  • When everyone is celebrating the Giants' win, Father Mulcahy is so excited he plants a kiss on Margaret. The next time you watch the show, look how surprised she looks - this might have been an ad-lib on William Christopher's part.
  • When Charles hears of the Giants' win, he freezes in shock and drops his Dodgers baseball cap; later he is shown in a faint on the ground with the baseball cap lying on his chest.
  • Colonel Potter was not wrong to support the St. Louis Cardinals. They finished a distant third in the NL (81-73), 15 1/2 games behind the pennant-winning Giants.
    • At the time, MLB teams in their respective leagues all played under one competitive ladder, one each for the National and American Leagues until 1969, when both leagues were divided into Eastern and Western divisions; by 1994, with new expansion teams being added, MLB created the Central divisions and reshuffled the teams.

Guest stars/Recurring cast[]

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