As You Were was the 20th episode of the 2nd season of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H series also the 44th overall episode; it was co-written by Laurence Marks and Larry Gelbart. Directed by Jackie Cooper, the episode originally aired on February 2, 1974.
Synopsis[]
During a lull in the action, which enables the 4077th to take some time off, Frank reluctantly asks Hawkeye and Trapper to fix his hernia.
Full episode summary[]
To alleviate boredom, the camp takes various measures to keep busy. Henry uses two surgical trays to sunbathe, and Frank takes to arranging the mess tent condiments in extreme fashion. Father Mulcahy washes his own feet, when he is interrupted by Klinger, who wants to send a letter to General Mitchell regarding his alleged insanity, including a dress he sewed from memory based on the one Rita Hayworth wore in Gilda.
Later, Hawkeye and Trapper pack Frank into a U.S. Army crate. Henry resurrects the sex lecture in the mess tent, complete with the Figure A and Figure B charts, but the lecture dissolves into silly chaos, complete with giggling and snickering. Hawkeye and Trapper receive two large packages from the Peerless Costume Company of Philadelphia: gorilla costumes.
Frank has a hernia and needs surgery, but is reluctant to have Hawkeye or Trapper perform it due to his mistrust of them. Margaret reassures him, telling him they are the best surgeons she's ever seen, and after all, they're not inhuman. Ironically, Frank and Margaret go the Swamp to discuss the surgery, only to find the captains in full simian costume playing cards. The gorillas hear the request, quickly consult each other, and agree to do the surgery.
Just as Hawkeye, his dirty fingernails, and his orchestra are about to commence surgery, wounded arrive and Frank's surgery has to wait.
O.R. brings four crises: intense shelling, a blood shortage, a Korean woman in labor, and Frank's hernia becomes strangulated, requiring surgery. But all the O.R. tables are busy, so Frank is taken to Post Op and has his feet put way up to try to get the hernia to fix itself. Radar makes the rounds on the phone trying to get the shelling to stop.
Later, Frank is prepped for the operation just as the Korean woman is brought into the O.R. As an artillery blast knocks out the generator, plunging the O.R. into darkness, the baby is delivered, and Frank and Margaret become the "parents of a five-pound baby hernia".
In the epilogue, things go back to being quiet, and the staff return to their former boredom-relieving activities.
Guest stars/Recurring cast[]
- William Christopher as Father Mulcahy
- Jamie Farr as Corporal Klinger
- Patricia Stevens as Nurse Baker (named in credits, not in dialogue)
- Bobbie Mitchell as Nurse Murphy (named in credits, not in dialogue)
- Kellye Nakahara as Nurse Able (named in credits, not in dialogue)
Research notes/Fun facts[]
- Among public announcements: "Attention. Attention all personnel. No casualties expected for indefinite period. AFRS announces the release of Nazi war criminal Alfried Krupp. Everybody's going home but us." Alfried Krupp von Bohlen und Halbach was released January 31, 1951.
- Radar states that he is 19 while on the phone with Regimental Headquarters. However, in the third season episode, "Mad Dogs and Servicemen," Radar is told he doesn't have rabies and remarks that he will live past 18.
- When Hawkeye is called upon to operate on Frank, he asks "George" to take over for him. We never find out who this "George" is (another doctor? a nurse?). Coincidentally, the episode that airs two episodes later is called "George".
- This episode shows a rare use of the laugh track in the O.R. and in Post-Op, as we usually don't hear the laugh track in both locations.