Monster M*A*S*H
Monster M*A*S*H
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Baby, It’s Cold Outside was the 10th episode of Season 7 of M*A*S*H, also the 157th overall series episode. The episode, which was written by Larry Balmagia, was directed by Alan Alda. The episode originally aired on CBS-TV on November 13, 1978.

Synopsis[]

In the midst of a brutal cold snap, the doctors are forced to use extreme measures for a group of frostbitten wounded soldiers. Charles gets a very welcome package from home, while Klinger is shaken by a mine explosion while on guard duty.

Full episode summary[]

Everyone in camp is miserable and fighting to stay warm in the midst of a major cold wave. In the Swamp, Hawkeye and B.J. are trying to huddle around the stove with the fire dying out, and mocking Charles who refuses to huddle "like you two cringing pack wolves". A supply truck pulls up in the compound with, among other things, a movie starring skater Sonja Henie, and a special package for Charles from his parents which, to his delight, is a full polar suit which he quickly puts on and enjoys parading in front of everyone else.

During triage, Potter quietly orders Radar to again confiscate stoves from the tents and bring them to Post Op for the patients; Radar is reluctant, but Potter advises him to do it while they're all in surgery. Meanwhile, Charles is showing off what Hawkeye calls "his new winter home". In surgery, Hawkeye's patient, Sergeant D'Avolio, has a bad leg wound, but he is unconscious and his core temperature is too low to get any kind of reading; all he can do is keep a close eye on his condition to make sure it doesn't get worse.

Later, after Radar moves the heaters, Charles visits Margaret in her tent to trade his new fur-lined gloves (that came with his polar suit) in exchange for hers in a feeble attempt to prove he is "just as hardy as the next man". Wanting his jacket instead, Margaret is disinterested, but when Charles gives her an ultimatum to "take it or leave it", she accepts. Back in the Swamp, Hawkeye and B.J. are shivering, and it is only after Charles comes in that he notices their stove is gone, and Margaret's gloves prove useless as they tear to pieces when he puts them on. Remembering there's a stove in the Mess Tent, Charles makes his way through the bitter cold with Hawkeye and B.J. close behind.

While most of the camp are huddled around the stove in the Mess Tent, Klinger is outside on guard duty struggling to keep warm when suddenly an explosion goes off. Potter and some of the others run out to see what's going on as more explosions go off; Potter deduces that it's their minefield - the extreme cold causes the ground to contract, and the pressure is setting off the mines. Nobody is hurt, but Klinger is badly shaken, so they take him into Post Op to check him out. He seems okay, but when the doctors start talking to him, Klinger can't hear them, or even himself. Potter initially thinks Klinger is faking, but it turns out he is not. Klinger is nearly in hysterics over not being able to hear anymore, and B.J. gives him a shot to help him to get some sleep, and Klinger quickly conks out.

Hawkeye is called to check on D'Avolio; though he has enough blankets on him "to melt Siberia", his condition is not improving. Hawkeye suggests they immerse him in warm water, but Potter vetoes the idea, saying that the stark change in his body temperature could put him into shock, and suggests they give him more time. Hawkeye stays in Post Op while Potter goes to the Mess Tent to watch the Sonia Henie movie, during which Charles repeatedly tries to parlay with Margaret in an attempt to get his gloves back, but Margaret refuses to budge. Shortly afterward, Hawkeye sends one of the nurses to get Potter; D'Avolio is still getting worse, so Potter agrees to immerse him. After throwing around several ideas on what to immerse him in, including a sink (too small), a tent canvas (too awkward), and even a bubble from one of the choppers, Radar suggests a coffin, as there's one in the Supply Room that Hawkeye remembers they recently used for shooting craps. Radar and Father Mulcahy go to get the coffin, but when they find the box is heavy, Radar is spooked and convinces himself that there's now a body inside. Mulcahy is skeptical and opens the coffin to find pairs and pairs of missing snow boots.

Lining the coffin with panchos, they fill the coffin with warm water and immerse D'Avolio. As Potter expected, he goes into shock and cardiac arrest, but the doctors are quick to stabilize him, only now he's much warmer, so they put him back to bed and continue as before. In the wake of the commotion, Klinger awakes complaining of the noise. To his and everyone else's surprise, he can hear again; Klinger is delighted until Potter tells him that he came very close to getting shipped home because of his hearing loss, at which point Klinger tries to fake a relapse, but Potter is not fooled.

Epilogue[]

Everyone is back in the Mess Tent again as Potter asks Mulcahy to bless a pot of soup. Charles brings a cupful to Margaret, who takes the gloves off for a sip, at which point Charles grabs them back and makes his way out.

Research notes/Fun facts[]

  • Radar is worried about the reaction to his stealing the Swamp's stove - "The last time I did that they hid my glasses in the meatloaf!" Later, we find out the "they" were Hawkeye and B.J., the latter of whom, upon learning Radar has again taken their stove, swears, "This time, I'm hiding his glasses in the latrine!" (with Hawkeye adding, "While he's wearing them!")
  • There is authentic footage of the finale of the Sun Valley Serenade (1941) shown in the Mess Tent. This footage, the mention of Nanook of the North (1922), the "Heat Wave" song (1938) the MASH crew sings, as well as the song "I Hear Music" (1940) sung by Klinger, are all appropriate to the era. But there are...
  • Anachronisms. See here for details.
    • Mention of Sonja Henie doing a triple axel.
    • Mention and use of the ambu bag.
  • Eight episodes later ("Out of Gas"), it's still cold in Korea, and Major Ego Winchester loses his parka to black marketeers.

Guest stars/Recurring cast[]

External links[]

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