Monster M*A*S*H
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Bulletin Board was the 16th episode of Season 3 of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, also the 64th overall series episode. Written by Larry Gelbart and Simon Munter, and directed by Alan Alda, it first aired on January 14, 1975.

Synopsis[]

Camp activities include Henry's nervous delivery of a sex lecture (while Hawkeye and Trapper heckle), a Shirley Temple movie, and a cookout.

Full episode summary[]

Most of the events of this episode stem from notices posted on the eponymous bulletin board. Henry gives another sex lecture, but instead of trotting out the infamous Figures A and B, the tone of the lecture is self-control. The Army's message is Korea is in pretty bad shape already, so don't add anymore to the population.

Margaret's younger sister, a Captain, is getting married, so Margaret asks Frank for a $240 loan for a gift. Frank's not excited about the idea, saying his money is tied up in newly-purchased war bonds. He turns down Margaret's request and she leaves in a huff.

A P.A. announcement reminds everyone to write home. Trapper writes a letter home to his 7-year-old daughter, Becky. He writes about living in a tent that's “old and smelly” and sharing it with two doctors who are “young and smelly.” He briefly describes Frank and Hawkeye, then relates an O.R. story from “last December.” A wounded soldier was brought in for surgery, but Frank found no pulse and declared him dead. Lying frozen in a minefield all night, the soldier had hypothermia, which slowed down his blood flow and kept him alive. Trapper found a faint pulse and started the operation, which saved his life.

A Shirley Temple movie is shown in the mess tent. Hawkeye tries to convince Radar the diminutive girl is really 42 years old whose growth was stunted with short beds and cigarettes. Henry can't enjoy the movie, instead fretting over a difficult surgery, and eventually gets called back to post-op by Kellye. Klinger and Zale have the first of their physical altercations, this one over Klinger's vacated seat after he got up for popcorn. To lighten the mood around camp, the “First Annual Polly Adler Birthday Cookout, Picnic, and Barbecue” is held, but Henry is still distressed with his patient, who was just shipped to Seoul. The event, with all funds being donated to the local orphanage, is a swinging affair complete with games, music, food, Hawaiian dancing, an R-rated puppet show, and Klinger selling kisses for a buck.

The carnival atmosphere continues with spoon races where three teams run relays to fill a glass of water with a spoon. Everyone is involved in the fun – nuns, orphans, corpsmen, and nurses – except for Henry who sullenly lurks around the perimeter. Frank tries to make amends with Margaret by bringing her a helium balloon, but she pops it with a hairpin. Margaret tells Frank there is no more “us” which causes Frank to buckle and offer to loan her the $240 – provided she sign an IOU and pay 5% interest. Furious, Margaret chases Frank, who inadvertently runs into the nurses’ foot race and wins a black lacy bra as first prize.

The final event is a tug-of-war between enlisted (Igor, Roy, Zale, Radar, and Klinger) and officers (Henry, Frank, Margaret, Hawkeye, and Trapper) over a mud pit. A total laugh-fest, everyone gets coated in mud and the enlisted have little time to celebrate their victory as wounded arrive and close the festivities.

Later in the OR, while everyone is busy with patients, Henry tells Hawkeye that the picnic was a good idea after all.

Research notes/Fun facts[]

  • At the end of the episode, there's a remark about Clark Gable's divorce from Sylvia Ashley, which occurred in April 1952; likewise, there's a remark about Presidential candidate Dwight Eisenhower's vow to go to Korea if elected President, which happened after his election in December 1952, which is referred in 4/4 "The Late Captain Pierce". In 4/3 "Change of Command," Potter takes command September 19, 1952. In 4/20 "The Novocaine Mutiny," the trial takes place in October 1952. Thus, if M*A*S*H had honestly followed the real Korean conflict timeline, Season 4 would have probably been the last season for the show.
  • The movie the staff watches early in the episode is The Littlest Rebel (1935).
  • Hawkeye reads the announcement to Henry about the "First Annual Polly Adler Birthday Cookout, Picnic and Barbeque." Polly Adler was an infamous madame in New York in the 20s and 30s, who was born on April 6, 1900 (which would make the picnic's date around April 6, 1951). In Season 8, Col. Sherman Potter would compare Klinger's "homey" decorations to Polly Adler's parlor ("Goodbye, Cruel World").
  • During the tug-of-war, Hawkeye tells Henry the line-up goes by rank, with the higher ranking officers in front. This apparently doesn't go for the enlisted men, since Sergeant Zale is behind Corporals Klinger and Radar (with Privates Goldman and Igor bringing up the rear). Interestingly enough, only the stars of the series wind up in the mud (including an unwilling Father Mulcahy), along with Sgt. Zale. When Col. Blake goes to the back, instead of the front, for the officers, the main actors who play officers are in order from youngest to oldest, from Larry Linville (born 1939) in the front, then Loretta Swit (born 1937), Alan Alda (born 1936), Wayne Rogers (born 1933), William Christopher (born 1932) and finally McLean Stevenson (born 1927).
  • Anomaly: According to Frank and Margaret's conversation when she's asking him for money, Margaret's father died and left her some money (which her mother apparently drank away). Later in the series, we find her father is in fact alive and well, though her parents are separated (and eventually divorce).
  • It's entirely possible that Margaret is lying to Frank about her family situation--she's lied to Frank before and will again, but he believes everything she tells him without question. We're not even sure she really has a sister; she was never mentioned before and is never mentioned again.

Recurring/Guest cast[]

Uncredited:

Bloopers[]

  • During the tug of war, you can see Alan Alda saying the words "Loretta its okay!" [1]
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