Captains Outrageous is the thirteenth episode of the eighth season of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, as well as the 186th overall series episode. Directed by Burt Metcalfe, the episode was written by Dennis Koenig; it originally aired on December 10, 1979.
Synopsis[]
Father Mulcahy is furious over being passed over for promotion to Captain yet again, while the doctors find themselves temporarily running Rosie's Bar when Rosie herself is injured in a bar fight.
Full episode summary[]
There is another round of promotions coming, and Father Mulcahy again gets his hopes up that he will finally get his long-overdue promotion to Captain; Potter, by way of Klinger, writes an "outstanding" endorsement letter, bursting at the seams with praise for Mulcahy.
Meanwhile, a fight indirectly started by Charles breaks out at Rosie's and gets so out of control that even Rosie is injured. With Rosie convalescing in Post Op with cracked ribs, her bar is vulnerable to the thievery of her shifty waitresses, whom Rosie claims will rob her blind if given the chance. Margaret offers that they should all run the bar while Rosie recuperates, and after some hesitancy Hawkeye, B.J., and Charles agree to help out. And while Rosie teaches them the tricks of her trade, like shaking down the pilfering waitresses and watering down the drinks, she also proves to be quite ungrateful for their efforts as they can barely make a profit.
Meanwhile, Potter is informed that not only is Mulcahy's name not on the new Captains' List, but also that his file has turned up missing at the Pentagon and therefore never showed up at the Promotions Board. When Potter goes to tell Mulcahy, the normally soft-spoken chaplain is fit to be tied; he laments about his colleagues making major, and even points out that his sister "the sister" is about to become Mother Superior. He curses "the fools and dolts and dodoes at the Pentagon who have more points on their heads than the building they work in", and storms out of his tent to take a walk, leaving Potter alone.
Mulcahy's anger is still boiling when he is asked by Klinger to break up a fight between two patients in Post Op: a Greek and a Turk, the ones who started the fight at Rosie's. When the two try to warn Mulcahy off saying "this is a fight between mens", he mentions that he himself is a capable fighter, and angrily boasts that he could knock both of them out without working up a sweat; he then reminds them of what it says in the Bible-- "Love thy neighbor or I'll punch your lights out!!"
Potter overhears the shouting in his office and mutters that he shouldn't have told Mulcahy that his promotion was a sure thing. When Klinger points out that he has done everything except call the Pentagon, Potter gets an idea and orders Klinger to do just that. Pretending to be General Imbrie's girlfriend, Klinger manages to get through to the Pentagon, and Potter finds out that Mulcahy's file had been sent through several different channels, including the Chief of Chaplains.
Back in Rosie's Bar, Charles gets in an argument with a drunken G.I. (played by G.W. Bailey), which leads to the G.I. wanting to deck him. The G.I. is thrown out of the bar by an Australian MP named Muldoon, who walks in expecting his usual free drink, an "arrangement" with Rosie that Charles knows nothing about. This causes another row, and Muldoon storms out.
A few days later, everyone meets at Rosie's to celebrate her return to the bar. But there is another reason to celebrate: Potter is here to announce that, thanks to some calls Klinger placed to the Pentagon, Father Mulcahy has indeed been promoted to Captain. Moments later, Muldoon comes in and shuts down Rosie's Bar for various penny-ante reasons, blaming Charles, whom he snidely calls "Chauncy Uppercrust". Rosie swears retribution on Charles, but Mulcahy, now full of bravado thanks to his new Captain's bars, steps in to try and settle the dispute.
Research notes/Fun facts[]
- The title is a spoof of the Rudyard Kipling novel, Captains Courageous.
- The Australian Military Policeman Muldoon is played by John Orchard, who played Ugly John in the earlier seasons.
- G. W. Bailey (who has already appeared as Rizzo in "The Yalu Brick Road") returns to play a G.I. who is obviously not Rizzo. For one thing, the character here has no stripes at all, and he doesn't recognize Charles. Also, this character says that his girl has left him for a "college boy", but when we see Rizzo again in "Promotion Commotion," he proudly tells of his "all-American wife" and son Billy Bubba.
- Sirri Murad previously appeared as "The Crazy Turk" in "A Full Rich Day" (S3:12). Whether or not he is portraying the same soldier is unclear, though unlikely, as his character in "Full Rich Day" spoke little English.
- Paul Cavonis appeared in "They Call the Wind Korea" (S7:8) as a Greek soldier. But similar to Murad's character, it is unclear as to whether the two characters are the same, and also like Murad's character, Cavonis' character in "Wind" spoke no English.
Guest stars/Recurring cast[]
- John Orchard as Muldoon (Australian Army MP)
- G.W. Bailey as The G.I.
- Paul Cavonis as The Greek
- Sirri Murad as The Turk
- Eileen Saki as Rosie
- Momo Yashima as Suni
- Uncredited appearances by Kellye Nakahara, Gwen Farrell, Jo Ann Thompson, Roy Goldman