Monster M*A*S*H
Advertisement

Colonel Lambert, the Commanding Officer and Base Commander of the 728th Evac Hospital, appears in the episode of M*A*S*H titled "The Incubator". The part of the Colonel is played in the episode by Logan Ramsey.

About Colonel Lambert[]

When Hawkeye and Trapper seek to get a blood culture done on a wounded soldier named PVT Rizzo, who's come down with a high fever for some unexplained reason, they are forced to wait 72 hours for the results, as they have to go through the usual Army channels to do so, through Tokyo General Hospital, as their unit doesn't have the proper equipment, meaning, an incubator, to get the results from the culture.

Frustrated by the Army red tape, and with Colonel Blake, as well as Captain Sloan (Eldon Quick), who, upon his visit, informs the surgeons that having an incubator would be considered by Army HQ to be "a luxury", they try to go through the Army channels themselves. One of the people which they talk to is Col. Lambert, who was directed to them by a Major Arnold Morris, who refused to relinquish one of the evac hospital's three incubators, saying if he let them have one, then he'd "only have two!".

Col. Lambert is a rather unscrupulous sort who offers to sell Captains Pierce and McIntyre an incubator, which the 4077th direly needs to combat illnesses of the wounded they treat, for $627, as he seemingly seeks to profit from the war effort by sending medical equipment stateside to sell it all "piece by piece".

When Trapper, flabbergasted at his profiteering from the war, says to him "You're a thief!", Lambert admittingly responds, "Of course. Why should the sergeants have all the fun?" as he says to Hawkeye, "I like you.", As he then looks to Trapper and says to him "You have a nasty streak of morality" before looking back to Hawkeye again and saying "But I like you" as he makes his offer to him for the incubator.

When they say they have no money, he, after they ask him of anyone else in the chain of command who could help them, directs them to a Major General Maynard Mitchell (Robert F. Simon) whom he describes as being "Honest, true-blue as the day is long and about as interesting as a five-pound bag of fertilizer!"

Advertisement