Hey, Look Me Over is the 241st episode of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, also the season premiere episode of Season 11 of the series. Written by Alan Alda and Karen Hall, and directed by actress/director Susan Oliver, it originally aired on October 25, 1982 and retelecast June 13, 1983.
After the Nurses come back to MASH 4077 they must hurry to clean up the camp's mess in time for a surprise inspection. A nurse Hawkeye has been neglecting romantically makes herself known.
Full episode summary
With the threat of a Chinese invasion, the Army has moved the nurses out of the 4077th, leaving just the men. This quickly turns the place into a disaster area - the place is a mess, equipment is lying all over the place, and the doctors are left with people like the hapless Igor to assist them in surgery.
Luckily for them, the Chinese have retreated, and the nurses are brought back, where they are treated like returning heroes. Everyone is happy, except for Margaret, who is furious when she learns that she and the nursing staff are expecting an inspection from the dreaded Col. Buckholtz in less than two days.
Margaret rounds up the nurses - taking them away from their welcome home party - and heads into the OR. They are shocked speechless by the shambles left behind by the men, and Margaret barges into Potter's tent and demands that the men help clean up.
The next day, the doctors have been drafted to help out, but they aren't much help. Hawkeye in particular is focused on any nurse that will respond to his come-on lines. He's rejected by several of them, but is oblivious when Nurse Kellye hints that his lines would work on her.
That night, the welcome home party is kicked off, and all of the nurses go except for Kellye, who glumly volunteers to finish up some last details. She even finishes the one task Hawkeye was assigned, but couldn't finish - to fix the Autoclave.
Later, in the O Club, Hawkeye tries putting the moves on various nurses, but still gets nowhere. Kellye is there, and she asks Hawkeye to dance, which he accepts. They dance the Lindy, but when it ends and a slow song comes on, Hawkeye awkwardly walks away, asking instead to buy Kellye a drink.
At the bar, they begin to talk, but within a few moments Hawkeye gets distracted by a nearby nurse, completely ignoring Kellye - so much so she wanders out of the O Club without him even noticing. The next day, Col. Bucholtz (Peggy Feury) arrives, driving Margaret crazy with her stern and exacting manner. As good and sharp as Margaret is, it's still not quite good enough for Buckholtz.
Hawkeye makes a joke about Buckholtz's manner, but Kellye snaps at him to be quiet. B.J. makes a similar joke, which Kellye responds to. Hawkeye notices this, and asks what the problem is.
They go out into Klinger's office and have it out - Kellye tells Hawkeye how hurt she is by his inattention, and how that over the years he's never taken notice of her, just because "I'm not 5 foot 9 with long blond hair and a nose you could fit into a bottlecap!"
Hawkeye, stunned, apologizes, but it's clear Kellye is very hurt. Margaret - afraid Buckholtz will overhear the tumult - breaks it up, ordering Kellye to go with Buckholtz's aid (Gary Grubs) to inspect the supplies.
In the Mess Tent, Margaret sits with B.J. and Winchester, complaining about Buckholtz. B.J. and Winchester are sympathetic, but point out that what Buckholtz does to Margaret, Margaret does to the nurses, and look how that makes her feel. Margaret objects, but changes her mind when she overhears two nurses complaining about Buckholtz, saying, "She's almost as bad as Houlihan!"
In Post Op, Hawkeye watches as Kellye cares for a dying soldier, holding his hand and speaking gently to him during his last few moments, putting him at ease. By the time he dies, Kellye's eyes are filled with tears.
Later, Hawkeye visits the Nurses Tent, flowers in hand. Kellye assumes that whoever Hawkeye is there for, "she's not here."
Hawkeye says he's there to see her, and he apologizes, saying she was right - he never did really see her, even though they've worked together for so long. She thanks him, but can't ask him in, because - she's on a date with Buckholtz's aid, Lt. Geyer.
Margaret runs into one of her nurses who is working late into the night, correcting things pointed out by Buckholtz. Margaret tells her to forget all that, and take the rest of the night off.
Days later, Margaret finds out she passed the inspection, and has a drink to celebrate. Hawkeye puts a slow song on the jukebox, then walks over to Kellye. He silently points to her cheek, then to his, and they get up and dance together, cheek-to-cheek.
Research Notes/Fun Facts
- When Kellye is trying to help Hawkeye fix the Autoclave, she tells him he's using the wrong flange. She says he needs to use "the flange with the cam, that goes in the groove with the tube." This rhyming is reminiscent of a popular segment from the Danny Kaye movie "The Court Jester" (1955), where Kaye's character discusses "The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!"
- When Kellye mentions to Hawkeye that when a slow song comes along, Hawkeye acts like she is Typhoid Mary. Mary Mallon (September 23, 1869 – November 11, 1938), aka Typhoid Mary, was an Irish-American cook. She was the first person in the United States identified as an asymptomatic carrier of the pathogen associated with typhoid fever.
- This episode premiered after the 1982 animated special Here Comes Garfield.