Hey, Look Me Over is the 241st episode of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, also the season premiere episode of Season 11 of the series. Written by Alan Alda and Karen Hall, and directed by actress/director Susan Oliver, it originally aired on October 25, 1982 and again on June 13, 1983. This episode is the first and only one to feature Nurse Kellye as a central character.
Synopsis[]
After being evacuated five days from the 4077th, the nurses are faced with cleaning up the mess in time for a surprise inspection. Meanwhile, Hawkeye is taken to task by Nurse Kellye when she realizes he pays little to no attention to her outside of work.
Full episode summary[]
With the threat of a Chinese invasion, the Army has ordered the nurses to evacuate from the 4077th. On their own, the men quickly turn the OR into a disaster area, with used and unsterilized equipment lying everywhere and dried-up plaster all over the floor, and the enlisted are forced to assist the doctors in surgery. After five days the Chinese have retreated, and the nurses return to a hero's welcome. They reveal Kellye's idea to have a welcome home party in the Officers Club, and Kellye adds that she was able to trade in the old records from the jukebox for newer ones by Doris Day, Frankie Laine, Johnnie Ray and Patti Page.
Everyone is happy except for Margaret, who is furious when Potter informs her that in less than two days, she and the nursing staff will be getting a surprise inspection from a Colonel Bucholtz, who is notorious for lowering inspection points for the most trivial reasons. Hearing this, Margaret rounds up the nurses taking them away from their welcome home party. They all go into the OR, and are shocked speechless by the shambles left behind by the men, and Margaret storms into Potter's tent complaining about the horrid conditions, including the autoclave hanging on a hinge, and all the equipment being "mislabeled, mismatched or just plain missing!". Angry that she could very well get kicked out of the army for the mens' carelessness, Potter meekly suggests that they help them out first thing in the morning.
The next morning, the men prove to be little help. Hawkeye in particular is focused on any nurse that will respond to his come-on lines, though his attempts to serenade Nurses Webster and Lacey meet with tepid response as they are both too preoccupied with cleaning up. Seeing his incessant flirtation, Nurse Kellye hints that his lines would work on her, but he ignores her. That night, the nurses are in their tent getting ready for the welcome home party when Margaret comes in looking for volunteers to put in some overtime, but a lonely Kellye is the only one willing to step up. She even volunteers to repair the autoclave, which Hawkeye couldn't finish; in gratitude, Hawkeye promises to buy her a drink when she finally arrives.
In the Officers Club, Hawkeye, now wearing his tuxedo and cowboy hat, re-tries putting the moves on Lacey and Webster, but they are both already with dates. But Kellye is there and asks Hawkeye to dance, which he accepts. They dance the Lindy, but when it ends and a slow song comes on, Hawkeye awkwardly sits down and buys Kellye a drink. At the bar, they begin to talk, but within a few moments Hawkeye is distracted by a nearby nurse, completely ignoring Kellye- so much so that he doesn't even notice when she sadly trudges out of the Officers Club.
The next day, Bucholtz arrives in camp and promptly begins the inspection in Post Op, but as good and sharp as Margaret is, Bucholtz is not satisfied, which inwardly drives Margaret insane. Bucholtz' aid, Lieutenant Geyer, comes in saying that he inspected the OR, but when she asks if he checked the tops of the doors, he awkwardly replied he hasn't and goes back to finish. Margaret shows Bucholtz the emergency tray, pointing out that she follows the army nurses manual to the letter, but Bucholtz tersely remarks that there is always room for improvement.
Hawkeye begins making cracks about Bucholtz' manner, but Kellye snaps at him to be quiet. B.J. makes a similar joke, which Kellye responds to in kind, which doesn't go unnoticed by Hawkeye. They go into Klinger's office, and Hawkeye flat out asks what her problem is; Kellye reveals how hurt she is by Hawkeye's inattention, in that he never takes notice of her "just because I'm not 5 foot 9 and slinky with long blond hair and a perky little nose that would fit into a bottle cap!" A stunned Hawkeye attempts to apologize, but it's abundantly clear that Kellye is very upset and loudly lets him know by telling him things about her that he never noticed or knew, until Margaret- fearing Bucholtz will overhear them, breaks it up and orders Kellye to go with Geyer to inspect the supplies.
That evening in the Mess Tent, Margaret sits with B.J. and Charles, complaining about Bucholtz' incessant pushing. The two surgeons are sympathetic, but then point out that Margaret is now feeling what the nurses feel when Margaret comes down on them. She continues to insist that the problem is Bucholtz, and smiles in satisfaction as they overhear Webster and Lacey walking by similarly complaining to Nurse Shari, but then when Webster remarks that Bucholtz is "almost as bad as Houlihan", Margaret finally begins to understand.
That night in Post Op, Hawkeye quietly watches Kellye tending to a dying soldier, holding his hand and speaking gently to him during his last few moments, putting him at ease, even giving him a kiss on his forehead. Moments later, the soldier goes limp, and Kellye checks his pulse. Finding that he has died, Kellye begins to tear up, and Hawkeye upon seeing this begins to understand that there is indeed much more to Kellye that what he has allowed himself to see.
Before turning in for the night, Bucholtz informs Margaret that she will be writing up her report that night and sending it to I-Corps in the morning. She then adds that if Margaret wants to do any overhauls she is willing to do a re-inspect before she leaves. Margaret, saying that she has learned a lot from this inspection, replies that she'll keep that in mind before saying goodnight to Bucholtz. She is then met by Webster who is working late into the night, correcting things pointed out by Bucholtz, but to her delight, Margaret tells her to take the rest of the night off.
Hawkeye, again in his tuxedo and now with flowers in hand, visits the Nurses Tent. Kellye answers and assumes that he is there to see someone else, but he is there to see her and to apologize, admitting that she was right about his never actually seeing her. He then gives her the flowers, but she acts awkwardly until it is revealed that she herself is already on a date- with Lieutenant Geyer. Kellye offers to give the flowers back, but Hawkeye declines and politely withdraws saying, "You two kids have a good time". He then meets up with Margaret on the way to the Officers Club and the two swap stories, saying that they both received an education that day, but then realizing that what they each learned is neither one's business, they go in to the Officers Club, which is already jumping.
Epilogue[]
Days later, in the Officers Club, B.J. finds Margaret sitting at the bar with an unopened envelope- Bucholtz' report, which she mentions she doesn't care to read as she is certain she failed. But when B.J. reads it and finds that Bucholtz gave Margaret and the nurses a Satisfactory rating, Margaret is delighted, saying, "I would have killed myself for her and she wouldn't give me a better rating!". B.J. then sits down at a table next to Hawkeye just as a slow song he paid for comes on the jukebox; Hawkeye excuses himself and walks over to Kellye and silently points to his cheek, then to hers, and she gets up and the two share a dance together, cheek-to-cheek.
Research notes/Fun facts[]
- When Kellye is trying to help Hawkeye fix the Autoclave, she tells him he's using the wrong flange. She says he needs to use "the flange with the cam fits in the groove with the tube." This rhyming is reminiscent of a popular segment from the Danny Kaye movie The Court Jester (1955), where Kaye's character discusses "The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!"
- Kellye mentions to Hawkeye that when a slow song comes along, Hawkeye treats her like Typhoid Mary. Mary Mallon (September 23, 1869 – November 11, 1938), aka Typhoid Mary, was an Irish-American cook. She was the first person in the United States identified as an asymptomatic carrier of the pathogen associated with typhoid fever.
- This episode premiered after the 1982 animated special Here Comes Garfield.
Recurring cast/Guest stars[]
- Peggy Feury as Colonel Bucholtz
- Deborah Harmon as Nurse Webster
- Rita Wilson as Nurse Lacey
- Gary Grubbs as Lieutenant Greyer
- Shari Saba as Nurse Shari
- Jeff Maxwell as Igor Straminsky
- Kellye Nakahara as Lieutenant Kellye Yamato