Klinger's get rich quick schemes

In between trying to get out of the army, Klinger also manages to find the time to indulge in various get rich quick schemes. Most of these came to nothing but some were fun while they lasted.

• "Took Many Cooks" (Season 8). When Klinger finds out the one of the patients is Private Paul Conway, former chef of the Cafe Pierre, New York, he turns the mess tent into a fine dining restaurant, complete with tablecloths, fresh baked rolls, a long wait list of reservations and wine lists, and featuring army specials such as "chipped beef wellington" and "spam parmesan". His intention is to set up "Chez Klinger", a four-star restaurant in Toledo at the end of the war, with Conway the chef and Klinger providing the management. The scheme fails when Conway wants to go back to be the cook for his infantry unit.

• "A War for All Seasons" (Season 9). Klinger takes bets on the World Series. Things go well for him at first, but then Winchester gets in on the action and offers betters long odds of 6 to 1 against the Giants. Almost everyone in the camp takes up some bets, Potter even offering $100. With everyone having so much money at stake, the final game of the series is broadcast across the P.A. It seems all but certain that the Dodgers are going to win, except--this is the famous game where Bobby Thompson hit the winning home run for the Giants: "The Shot Heard 'Round the World."

• "No Sweat" (Season 9). Klinger takes a mail order course in electronics, reasoning that television is the wave of the future "which means busted sets by the millions" and "Max Klinger will be there to reap the whirlwind of outrageous repair prices." We don't know if he continued with the course, but he does succeed in taking apart the P.A. system and putting it back together again.

• "Depressing News" (Season 9). Klinger sets up a camp newspaper, reasoning that the stuff it is printed on grows on trees and people need a new one everyday so there must be gold in it. We don't know how long it goes on for, but at least it shows Klinger's people skills, in manipulating Winchester and Margaret into contributing articles for the paper--the same kind of skills that give him the reputation of being a scrounger.