Mr. and Mrs. Who? was the ninth episode of Season 8 of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, also the 182nd overall episode in the series. Written by Ronny Graham, and directed by Charles S. Dubin, it first aired on network TV on November 12, 1979.
Synopsis
A badly hung over Charles returns to camp unaware that he is now a married man. Meanwhile, the camp is hit with an outbreak of hemorrhagic fever that they don't know how to deal with.
Full episode summary
Disheveled and badly hungover, Charles returns to camp from a medical seminar at Tokyo General. Hawkeye and B.J. pester him with questions about what happened, but he remembers nothing except for getting caught up in the rowdy antics of the hospital's medical staff, which culminated in his being permanently banned from the hotel in which he stayed. In an attempt to find out what happened, Hawkeye and B.J. decide to open Charles' luggage and examine the contents, which include a pair of stockings, a matchbook from a nightclub and bathhouse called the Pink Parasol, a boutonniere with rice in it, and most intriguing, two rolls of undeveloped film.
Charles longs only to sleep off his hangover, but Hawkeye and B.J. drag him to Post-Op, where Corporal Shaw and a few other patients are suffering from Korean Hemorrhagic Fever. During a staff meeting in Potter's office the doctors are reminded of the symptoms, including high urinary and sodium output and loss of appetite. They are then informed of the mortality rate of 10 to 20% percent, which HQ considers "significant" (Potter's chosen word is "appalling"), and then Potter informs them of a new directive which bans the usage of all saline treatment for the disease, an order that can result in criminal liability if disobeyed.
Klinger develops Charles' Tokyo pictures, which he, Hawkeye and B.J. find hilarious; there are a series of embarrassing snapshots of Charles gallivanting around with smiles painted on his kneecaps while wearing a lampshade on his head, and romantically frolicking with a very attractive but unidentifiable woman who is holding- and in one picture throwing- a wedding bouquet. Klinger later informs Charles of a call from Seoul by a woman who says she'll be visiting camp in two hours. When Charles asks if she gave a name, Klinger replies, "Mrs. Chuck Winchester III"!
While Charles is in a panic over the mystery woman's imminent arrival, Hawkeye and B.J. are perusing through medical journals in an attempt to find an effective treatment for the fever. When Corporal Shaw takes a turn for the worse, the doctors discuss the fact that up until the new Army directive banning all saline treatments, the approach has always been to use IV solutions with high amounts of saline up to five percent; Hawkeye and B.J. reason that Shaw could handle isotonic saline, a solution with less than one percent saline (an identical content to blood plasma, which the patients receive without difficulty). It's a risky move as it goes against the Army directive, but since they are all in agreement that Shaw will die if they do nothing, Potter decides they have no other choice and authorizes the treatment.
Meanwhile, the "wife of the party" arrives in camp to see Charles, and it soon dawns on the mystery woman (who works for the Red Cross) that her erstwhile husband does not remember any of the weekend, including the wedding ceremony, but Charles is surprised when the woman reveals that the wedding was performed (at Charles' drunken behest) by a bartender at the hotel where they had the party - in short, they are not actually married! They both collapse into laughter, and a relieved Charles then asks the woman an extremely personal question: "What is your name??" (It is soon revealed that her name is Donna Parker).
The two spend the rest of the evening catching up on other things they did while at the party, including Charles' drunkenly insulting a champion Sumo wrestler who, fortunately for Charles, spoke no English. Charles compares his 'lost weekend' with the one other time he got highly intoxicated: he clearly remembers catching pneumonia after swimming the Charles River in cap and gown the night after his graduation from Harvard Med School. When Donna asks how he remembers that and not her, he explains that going on a bender is a rarity for him, but he is grateful that even in a state of total inebriation he still had the sense and good taste to propose to a girl like her.
The next morning in Post-Op, Hawkeye and B.J. find that Corporal Shaw has stabilized. Shortly after Margaret and Colonel Potter arrive to take over, Shaw wakes up hungry, much to the delight of the doctors, with Hawkeye saying "Well, there's one war with a happy ending!"
The following night, the camp throws a party in the Mess Tent to celebrate the medical victory, and also to officially dissolve the phony marriage of Mr. and Mrs. "Cuddles" Winchester. Margaret is the flower girl ("A bouquet of Four Roses"), and B.J., whom Hawkeye introduces as "The 'Irreverend' J.B. Honeydew", officiates over the "un-wedding", reading from a comic book while Father Mulcahy plays "So Long It's Been Good To Know Yuh" on the piano.
Guest cast
- Claudette Nevins as Donna Marie Parker
- James Keane as Corporal Shaw
- Uncredited appearances: