Private Finance is the eighth episode of the eighth season of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H; Directed by Charles S. Dubin, the episode was written by Dennis Koenig. W.C. Heinz, Richard Hooker, Ring Lardner, Jr., who all were co-writers for the 1970 M*A*S*H* film, who were uncredited, also contributed as writers on the episode, which originally aired on November 5, 1979.
Synopsis[]
When Klinger tries to help a poor Korean girl, her mother misinterprets his intentions and wants to kill him. Hawkeye struggles to keep his promise to a dying soldier.
Full episode summary[]
Klinger is at Rosie's Bar when he spots a local laundry girl named Oksun Li naively attempting to proposition a soldier for money in exchange for sex. Klinger pulls Oksun Li outside and asks what she is doing and why; she reveals that she is desperate for money to try and move her mother away from the fighting, and the pittance they receive from washing clothes is not nearly enough to help. Klinger offers Oksun Li nearly all the money he has on him to help her, just as Mrs. Li arrives. Seeing Klinger give Oksun Li money, she assumes Klinger is trying to solicit her daughter and immediately attacks him with her broom, but Klinger escapes thanks to incoming wounded.
One of the new arrivals, a Corporal Eddie Hastings, has an unusual request: before he goes in for surgery, he makes Hawkeye promise that the contents of his money belt are to go to his parents if he doesn't make it. More concerned about his injuries, Hawkeye initially doesn't take him seriously, but when Eddie insists, Hawkeye tersely agrees.
In the OR, Hawkeye and B.J. are both feverishly operating on Eddie as his injuries were much worse than they thought, but despite everything they try, Eddie dies on the table. Hawkeye and B.J. are despondent over losing him, but their gloom quickly turns to surprise when Klinger shows them the money that was in Eddie's money belt- $8,873; even more surprising, the money is all in civilian currency and not military scrip. Potter thinks the money was illegally obtained, but Hawkeye is not so sure, as Eddie came off to him like a clean-cut, all-American kid.
Meanwhile, Klinger is still trying to dodge the relentless Mrs. Li, even briefly returning to wearing women's clothing to avoid her. When the angry mother, now armed with a pitchfork, corners Klinger in his office, Potter intervenes. When Oksun Li insists that Klinger had stopped her from soliciting at Rosie's and was only trying to help, Potter, and later Margaret, sympathize with the Li's plight and agree to try and find a way to help.
Per Charles' suggestion, Hawkeye and B.J. look into the Hastings situation further by talking with two of Eddie's buddies in Post Op, Corporals Dolan and Vitello. When Hawkeye informs them that Eddie didn't make it, Dolan reservedly asks, "Who got him? Their side or ours?" The two then tell of Eddie's involvement in a variety of underhanded operations including crooked gambling, black market dealing, and loan sharking at 100% interest; rumor had it that Eddie had even hired some local Korean heavies as enforcers. Vitello explains that Eddie was all right when they first met in basic training, but after falling in with a bad crowd, he quickly became corrupt and started robbing everyone else blind.
Despite CID's report that Eddie had no criminal record or warrants, protocol dictates that the money is to be sent to the authorities at I-Corps, but Hawkeye intends to honor the promise he made to Eddie and send the money to his parents; being such a large amount, Potter suggests writing them a "delicately phrased" letter of condolence. After many false starts, Hawkeye, while carefully avoiding any mention of Eddie's alleged crooked enterprising, finally finishes the letter and reads it to an impressed Father Mulcahy.
A week later, everyone is at the Officers Club when an aggravated Hawkeye bursts in with a letter from Eddie's parents. The letter reveals that another soldier who knew Eddie had been sent home months earlier and had told Eddie's parents about their son's shady dealings in Korea. In the letter, they tell Hawkeye that they didn't feel right keeping Eddie's money, so they sent it back to him in the hope that he can use it to help someone there. While Hawkeye has no idea what to do with the large bankroll, Potter and Margaret quickly see an opening to help the Li family and give them $500 to travel south to Pusan and get away from the war. Both women are immensely grateful, with Klinger giving Mrs. Li a quick goodbye kiss on the cheek, earning a coy slap from Mrs. Li in appreciation.
Epilogue[]
With $8,373 of Eddie's copious stash still remaining, Hawkeye, B.J., Charles, and Klinger all wrangle over how to spend it. After tossing around the names of various charities, Hawkeye decides to simply split it up among everyone in camp, which meets with approval all around. Hawkeye then proposes a toast to Eddie's memory:
"Eddie, wherever you are, whether you know it or not, you did good."
Research notes/Fun facts[]
- This episode also features credits that say "Also Starring Gary Burghoff as Radar," even though Radar went home several episodes ago and has not appeared in any episode starting with "Period of Adjustment".
- The episode's title, "Private Finance", is something of a misnomer, in that the character this episode revolves around is actually a Corporal.
- In the syndicated edited version, the details of most of Hastings' crooked ways are edited out, so all you heard was "...then he started hanging around some of the crumbs of the outfit, and next thing you know, he was stealing everyone blind", which hardly seemed to justify his comrades' contempt toward Hastings. But the regular, unedited version of the episode gives you the whole story.
- Adjusting for inflation, $8,873 in the early 1950s would be equal to about $87,214.56 in 2021. This seems like a ridiculous amount for a young soldier to be carrying in field combat.
- Near the end, when they're sending Oksun Li and her mother off to Pusan, Hawkeye thanks them for using the "Sherman Potter Travel Agency", and B.J. chimes in about the "Save the Klinger Foundation", which was a play on words, referring to an actual organization called the "Save The Children Federation", which was founded in 1919.
- In the epilogue, while Hawkeye, Klinger, B.J., and Charles discuss who to donate the rest of Hastings's money to, Hawkeye mentions the "USS Hope." This was a "Comfort-class" hospital ship, along with two others, commissioned during World War II for evacuation and transport of patients after primary care had been given. However, these ships were decommissioned shortly after the war and would not have been in service during the Korean conflict.
Guest stars/Recurring cast[]
- Shizuko Hoshi as Mrs. Li (Oksun Li's mother)
- Denice Kumagai as Oksun Li
- Mark Kologi as Corporal Eddie Hastings
- Joey DePinto as Sergeant Crosetti (as Joey Pento)
- Phillip Simms as Corporal Vitello (as Philip Simms)
- Art Evans as Corporal Dolan
- Mark Harrison as Soldier
- James Emery as Soldier
- Uncredited appearances: