Settling Debts is the 247th episode of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, also the 7th episode of Season 11 of the series. Written by Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford, and directed by Michael Switzer, it originally aired on December 6, 1982.
Synopsis[]
Hawkeye receives a letter from Potter's wife saying that she has paid off the mortgage on their home early and asks Hawkeye to throw a surprise party for Potter to celebrate. But as they prepare for the surprise, Potter drives himself crazy when he gets carried away by his own imagination.
Full episode summary[]
Mail call. Klinger delivers mail to Colonel Potter in the mess tent, but when Potter notices another envelope with his wife Mildred's handwriting and a Hannibal, Missouri postmark, Klinger says the letter is for Hawkeye, which Potter refuses to believe and demands to see it, but Klinger won't budge.
In the Swamp, Hawkeye reads the letter from Mildred; by saving up her egg money, she has managed to pay off their 20-year mortgage on their house six months early. She enclosed the mortgage with the letter so they can have a mortgage-burning party for him there in camp, adding that she's sorry she can't be there with them, but adds that while Potter is burning the mortgage, Mildred will be burning the free calendar the bank sent them. Potter arrives in the Swamp demanding to know what Mildred's letter said, but Hawkeye remains tight-lipped. Potter is sure that it's bad news, but when B.J. tells him that it is actually good news, Potter becomes indignant that now two people know a secret that Mildred is keeping from him. Potter quietly leaves, and Hawkeye tells B.J. that they'd better have the party for Potter as soon as possible before it kills him.
Hawkeye, B.J., Margaret, Charles and Klinger meet with Father Mulcahy in his tent to discuss what to do for Potter's party. Charles is apathetic to the idea while the others throw out some suggestions, but Mulcahy suggests they do a "home away from home" theme and have the party in Potter's tent, which is agreed upon by the others. B.J. and Charles are appointed to do decorations while Margaret and Klinger volunteer as distractions for Potter to keep him away from the tent, and Mulcahy agrees to be a go-between which, according to the Father, is "something I sorta do for a living". Their assignments all in place, Hawkeye is about to leave, but when he spots Potter in the Swamp rifling through Hawkeye's private papers, he quietly asks Mulcahy to hold on to the letter for safekeeping.
Walking back into the Swamp, Hawkeye asks Potter if he's doing a surprise inspection, but Potter nervously attempts subterfuge and again demands to know what Mildred's letter says, but outside of saying that she wants to surprise him, Hawkeye refuses to say anything more. Potter then asks if it has anything to do with where he'll be spending his retirement, but Hawkeye and B.J. give conflicting answers. But it doesn't matter to Potter as he thinks he has it figured out: Mildred bought a houseboat. He told her that he didn't want to move to Florida claiming, "six months in that sun and I'll be a walking liver spot!" They try and reassure him that it is not the houseboat, but Potter refuses to believe them.
Back in his office, Potter sends a telegram to his bank to find out if Mildred bought a boat, but his impatience for a response gets the better of him until he gets a call saying that Mildred just withdrew $800 from their account; Potter is livid and about to go back to his tent to write a letter to his "ex-wife" when Margaret bursts in with a very complicated plan for a new nurse shift rotation, which she shoves in Potter's face trying to keep him busy. To her surprise, though, Potter likes the plan and gives it his approval, and as he is again about to head back to his tent, Klinger comes back in to tell him that he somehow got through to the operator in Hannibal. Potter is chomping at the bit to give Mildred what for as he gets on the phone, but the operator (who is actually Margaret in the orderly room crumpling a piece of carbon paper to make it sound like a long distance call) manages to stall Potter a while longer. When that plan eventually falls apart, Father Mulcahy steps in and gets Potter to go a few rounds with his punching bag in his own tent to relieve some stress, but ultimately it doesn't help. Now sweaty as well as angry, and having had enough, Potter goes to his tent, where everyone is waiting for him.
Hawkeye finally hands Potter his mortgage which he is surprised to see is paid off early, and the others explain how Mildred did it. Potter then notices the party decorations, especially the picket fence, to which Potter remarks, "I like a fence that you can sit on without getting a perforated carcass". Hawkeye then presents Potter with a gift "to keep the home fires burning"- an engraved cigarette lighter. When Margaret remarks that everything, even the party, was all Mildred's idea, a touched Potter, calling her "that sweet petunia", reveals that Mildred was the one who wanted to buy a house in the first place, despite his argument that there was fine housing for rent on base; she said she was tired of living like a gypsy and wanted a place "where she could put a nail in the wall anywhere she damned well wanted". He then quietly adds that, "If anyone says there's a sweeter woman in the world, I wouldn't believe 'em for a minute". He then takes his new lighter, and sets the now-paid mortgage paper ablaze.
As the party winds down, everyone drunkenly congratulates Potter as they leave one at a time. Potter gets ready to settle in for the night when he notices he still has one more guest: Charles, who started celebrating earlier than everyone else, has passed out on his bed.
Subplot[]
A group of field troops led by (2nd) Lieutenant Pavelich arrives in camp with orders to patrol the Kwantu Pass to find infiltrators; Pavelich, who has only been an officer for two months, tells Potter and B.J. that he turned down a desk job in Paris for more tougher work, and his First Sergeant Lally confirms to B.J. that Pavelich is not a spoiled rich kid who just barks out orders; he takes good care of them, and in turn they take good care of him.
That night, Pavelich's men bring him back to camp wounded by a sniper, and Pavelich confides in B.J. that he can't move his legs. Later, more of his men shoot and catch the sniper, a North Korean soldier, and bring him into camp as well. When Lally overhears Hawkeye and B.J. discussing Pavelich's condition (pressure on his spinal cord from the gunshot, believed to be 'cord shock'), he demands an explanation. After the doctors reveal the truth, Lally tells the others that he will kill the Korean if Pavelich is permanently paralyzed.
After surgery, the doctors are still uncertain as to whether the lieutenant will walk again, and Lally is ready to shoot and kill the North Korean on the spot, but Pavelich comes out of the anesthetic long enough to order Lally to stand down.
Fun Facts[]
- Potter's usual photo of Mildred gets frequent scene time and even a heartfelt monologue in this episode - the photo is Harry Morgan's wife of 42 years, Eileen. Eileen Ann Detchon Morgan would pass away 3 years later in 1985.
- Jeff East was known to moviegoers for playing the teen-aged Clark Kent in 1978's Superman: The Movie, though the producers overdubbed his dialogue with the voice of Christopher Reeve, who played the adult Kent and Superman.
- In a classic Line when Potter demands to know what Mildred wrote about, B.J. retorts they cant say since "she outranks us by marriage"
- When discussing how to celebrate Potter's mortgage burning party, Father Mulcahy suggests the theme of "Home Sweet Home", complete with a white picket fence. Winchester quips that there should be a pink flamingo for the lawn. The infamous pink flamingo lawn ornament wasn't designed until 1957, and didn't gain widespread popularity until the 1960s, long after the Korean War ended.
Recurring/Guest Cast[]
- Jeff East as Lieutenant Pavelich
- Guy Boyd as 1Sgt. Lally
- Michael Bond as Captain Hobart
- Michael Lamont as Corporal
- Jack McCulloch as Soldier
- Jennifer Davis Westmore as Nurse