Stars and Stripes is the fourteenth episode of the eighth season of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, as well as the 187th overall series episode. Directed by cast member Harry Morgan, the episode was written by Dennis Koenig; it originally aired on December 17, 1979.
Plot synopsis[]
Margaret discovers more about herself after one of her old flames, Sergeant Jack Scully, comes back to camp as a private. Friction arises when B.J. and Charles have to collaborate on a medical journal article about an operation they performed.
Full episode summary[]
With a lull in the fighting and with no wounded to tend to, everyone at the 4077th is bored to tears. But at least two of the staff have something to do - B.J. and Charles have been asked to write a paper for the American College of Surgeons, after the successful recuperation of a patient named Howser they both worked on several weeks ago. Everyone is impressed, none more so than Charles himself, who takes this event as an opportunity to exalt himself. This leads B.J. to rightfully fight for his own credit, and their attempt at writing the paper quickly devolves into an argument with each doctor refusing to budge. Potter attempts to step in and, reminding them of the paper's importance, orders them to "put those egos in neutral and write the damn paper!"
With Hawkeye excluded, he's even more bored than usual, until Jack Scully arrives back in camp. But Scully is more interested in seeing Margaret, which causes an aghast Hawkeye to quip, "You'd rather frolic with a sultry, voluptuous blonde than a skinny, pale brunette?"
Margaret is pleased to see Scully, but it is only after they go back to her tent and when he takes off his field jacket that she notices his shirt sleeves have only one stripe instead of three. Margaret thinks he accidentally put on someone else's uniform shirt, but Scully confirms that he was indeed demoted to Private for slugging a Lieutenant for telling him how to deploy his men. But Scully plays it off saying that rank doesn't matter, because the men still listen to him anyway. Margaret is dismayed, especially when Scully reveals his lack of respect for Margaret's rank, insisting that she's not a real Major because she "can boss around a bunch of nurses". Offended, Margaret throws Jack out of her tent.
After a talk with Hawkeye, Margaret decides to try again with Scully. She has Klinger help her tailor a dress - a very feminine, puffy peach-colored outfit - and she's wearing it in her tent when she has Scully visit her, on Klinger's orders (Scully's a lowly Private - at the moment). At first, Scully loves it, but within a few minutes, their inherent differences come to the surface. Scully starts treating Margaret like a handmaiden, asking her to cook him an omelet (and a separate one for herself) and promising that after a romp with him in the sack, she'll be a new woman. They both realize that, as a couple, they just aren't compatible - Scully wants to be in charge without question, and cannot abide a woman as strong and independent as Margaret. They decide to end their relationship, such as it is, and Scully heads back to his unit.
Meanwhile, the fighting between Charles and B.J. gets so bad, they decide to write their own papers and let Potter decide which of them is the most accurate. When Potter gets wind of this, he sits them both down and reads them the riot act, reminding them both that it was a group effort from start to finish:
- The combat medics and EVAC people that got Howser to the 4077th alive
- Margaret, who got him prepped
- Potter who saw him in triage and got him right in to surgery
- All four of the surgeons consulted with one another
- Hawkeye took extra patients so B.J. and Charles could double their time with Howser
- The staff who took care of Howser in Post Op
- The people at the EVAC hospital in Seoul
- The medics in San Francisco
- The staff at Walter Reed
- and finally, Howser himself, having come through everything he had to endure
Hearing all of this, a humbled B.J. and Charles decide to rewrite the paper together, with Charles suggesting that the entire staff of the 4077th be credited, to which B.J. agrees.
Epilogue[]
Later, Margaret goes for a drink in the Officers Club and, meeting up with Hawkeye again, tells him that Scully is gone for good. Hawkeye mentions that Margaret is carrying a torch, but she corrects him - calling it "smoldering embers" - adding, "I could have a bonfire if I didn't keep running into guys who only wanted to get their hands warm", and that, "I've got the only heart in Korea with a revolving door". She decides that from now on, she will only date men who meet her minimum standard requirements:
- 20% her father
- 10% Scully
- 10% Hawkeye
- 3% Frank Burns, and
- 2% (changing it to one percent) Donald
Making the observation that they're "waiting for a custom fit in an off-the-rack world", Hawkeye tries to cheer Margaret up over a game of what he calls "Double-Solitaire Scrabble": the object is that they both make whatever they can out of whatever they have, they don't score off of one another, and if Margaret needs any extra letters (such as a "Y" for sympathy), she can borrow one of his. She asks what happens if she finds "L-O-V-E", to which Hawkeye replies, "You win the game". Margaret looks at her letters, "HARKNRF", and decides she needs to keep looking.
Recurring cast/Guest stars[]
Uncredited appearances:
- Kellye Nakahara (in the Mess Tent behind Klinger)
Research notes/Fun facts[]
- There is conflict as to whether the episode should be called "Stars and Stripes" or "Stars and Stripe". In the liner notes of the Season 8 Collector's Edition DVD of M*A*S*H it is "Stripe", while in the DVD menu itself it is referred to as "Stripes".
- Ironically, five of the tiles on Margaret's Scrabble tray spell "FRANK".
- When Hawkeye tells Margaret that she can't make men change to be how she wants them to be, he mentions not changing for the woman he loved; this is likely a reference to Caryle Breslin, his one-time steady girlfriend for just over a year who came to camp in "The More I See You". In that episode, it was revealed that they broke up because Hawkeye couldn't bring himself to compromise his career to marry her.