That Darn Kid was the 22nd and the season finale episode of Season 10 of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, also the 240th overall series episode. Written by Karen Hall and directed by David Ogden Stiers, it originally aired on April 12, 1982.
A goat eats the monthly payroll which Hawkeye is in charge of. This cause financial trouble for most of the staff.
Full episode summaryEdit
Klinger runs into a local merchant selling, among other things, a live goat. Smelling a financial opportunity, he borrows some money from Hawkeye and B.J. to buy it, figuring he can use it to provide fresh milk to the rest of the 4077th for a pretty penny. While Hawkeye, stuck being Paymaster, doles out money to the camp, Klinger sets up a table nearby trying to get people to buy a glass of milk.
Hawkeye has only given out pay to a couple of people when wounded arrive. Klinger puts the money - and the goat - in his office for safekeeping. When he and Hawkeye return to retrieve it, they see that the goat contentedly munching on the money! Most of the money is now gone, having been digested, and Hawkeye is forced to tell everyone there's going to be a delay in getting paid, which of course is not met with good cheer.
They tell I-Corps what happened, and they send someone to investigate the missing money, an irritated Major Van Zandt (John P. Ryan), who is in the middle of a complicated report for his commander, and has to put it aside to look into what he calls "this ridiculous goat story." Van Zandt doesn't believe Hawkeye's story, and after a cursory examination decides Hawkeye is solely responsible for the missing money, which means his wages will be garnished until all of the $22,000 is paid back.
Hawkeye, Potter, and Klinger devise a plan: Klinger claims there's a call from Van Zandt's commander, getting him out of the VIP tent. The call is mysteriously "lost", so Van Zandt returns to his tent, only to see the self-same goat munching his report!
Van Zandt is furious, and Col. Potter and Hawkeye arrive to see what the trouble is. Van Zandt smells a set up, and Col. Potter makes him an offer: if Van Zandt confirms that the goat ate the money, then they will verify that it ate his report - getting both of them out of trouble.
Van Zandt agrees, taking the goat with him as evidence. Potter quietly remarks that its amazing how much paper goats will eat - especially when you smother a little molasses on it!