The Army-Navy Game is the twentieth episode of the first season of the TV series M*A*S*H, and therefore the 20th episode overall. Based on a story by McLean Stevenson and written by Sid Dorfman, the episode was directed by Gene Reynolds and originally aired on February 25, 1973; it repeated on September 9, 1973.
Synopsis[]
The camp tunes-in to the Army-Navy football game, only to get shelled by enemy artillery, and then left with a half-buried unexploded large bomb in the compound that has to be defused before it is too late.
Full episode summary[]
Radar is collecting bets on the upcoming Army-Navy Game, and Hawkeye, Trapper, and some nurses are with Henry in his office as he tunes in the game on the radio. But before the game can even get under way, the camp is inundated by shellfire, and Henry dispatches the doctors to Post Op to check on the patients. More artillery explodes nearby, and Radar brings Henry in to Post Op, rattled, but superficially injured in the forehead by artillery fragments flying through the office. With Henry disabled, Hawkeye is about to take over, but when Frank belligerently insists that he is in now in charge, Hawkeye gives him the benefit of the doubt and asks what he should do next, but when Frank doesn't readily have an answer, Hawkeye berates him and takes matters into his own hands.
Things get worse when a bomb lands in the camp compound and fails to explode. Hawkeye gets a hold of a Colonel Hersh at Regimental HQ, who is busy listening to the game; Hersh tells Hawkeye to stay put as that whole sector is being hit hard, and then go to check the bomb - first, to see if the bomb is ticking, and then examine the outer casing for markings or serial numbers, then call him back and he'll tell them how to defuse it - but he asks Hawkeye to call back at halftime.
Hawkeye fills Frank and Trapper in on what he was told, and seeing as how Frank is technically in command and cannot order someone else to defuse the bomb, Hawkeye decides the three will draw matches to see who gets to go out and check the bomb; Frank draws the short match, but passes out before he can make it out the door, so Hawkeye does the job himself. Just as he makes his way out to the bomb, Henry recovers from his blow to the head and re-assumes command. After checking with his stethoscope, Hawkeye discovers the bomb is ticking loud and clear.
He then gets the markings from the casing, AFS 72485, followed by three small circles and a square. Henry relays the info to Hersh, who says the markings don't match any Russian, Chinese, Polish, or Czech markings, much less any Army identification. Hersh then suggests that Henry call the Navy; when asked why the Navy would drop a bomb on them, Hersh replies that Army is beating them 14-0.
Radar gets hold of a Naval Operations Commander named Sturner in Seoul. Henry tells him about the unexploded bomb and then gives him the markings. Sturner promises to get back to Henry, who quietly hopes he is still there when he does.
In the meantime, with no way to listen to the game, the camp has no choice but to pass the time. Hawkeye, Trapper, and Ugly John play cards; Frank and Margaret have a romantic moment alone; Klinger has changed from his usual women's wear to a fine suit, telling Father Mulcahy that if he is killed by the bomb, he doesn't want people to see him in a dress. Henry relates a story to Radar about how he taped the wrong leg in an all-important football game between Illinois and Ohio State, the latter of whom won by one point. Henry then tells about how Tank Washington, the player whose leg he incorrectly bandaged, shoots out the porch light on Henry's house once a year. Radar then goes outside and bumps into Lieutenant Hardy, and then tells her he has "worshipped her from below" and, as it might be their last few moments on Earth, asks her if she would like to go and check out the Supply Tent with him; she is flattered by his awkward flirting, and hand-in-hand, the two go to the Supply Tent.
Meanwhile, Sturner finally calls back and tells Henry that the bomb belongs to... (wait for it)... the C.I.A. Henry then tells Hawkeye and Trapper that the bomb probably has one more hour before it goes off on its own - and likely two minutes to detonation if it stops ticking; the Navy is not sure as the C.I.A. is too secretive. The bomb itself is a spring-cylinder type with two clockwork-attached fuses, one at the base and one at the head. Henry has the disarming instructions, and then gives Hawkeye and Trapper the tools they're going to need. But before they venture out, Trapper suggests a drink "for the road", to which Hawkeye adds, "while we still got one".
Hawkeye and Trapper both knock back a quick shot of courage before slowly walking out to the bomb, with Henry in the bunker (with Radar, Margaret, and Frank) relaying instructions to them on a bullhorn. But a very poorly-worded part of the instructions causes Trapper to snip two wires too soon. The bomb stops ticking and the two doctors frantically run for it, only making it several feet before they fall to the ground flat on their stomachs. The bomb detonates, but the lackluster explosion does little more than blast a large amount of paper leaflets sky high, causing Trapper to exclaim, "It was a propaganda bomb!"
Hawkeye grabs one of the leaflets and reads it aloud:
"Give yourselves up. You can't win. Douglas MacArthur."
Epilogue[]
At the end of it all, Navy defeated Army, 42-36. Father Mulcahy wins the football pool. Radar notices what he thinks is one of the nurses hanging up laundry, and approaches her trying to make another move, but it turns out to be Klinger, who is back to wearing women's clothing.
Research notes/Fun facts[]
- This episode is one of three in Season 1 which features a different arrangement of the show's theme music, Suicide is Painless. It's more jazzy and upbeat, like something you would've heard by a big swing band. This music is also used in "Sticky Wicket" and "Major Fred C. Dobbs", but after that, the series reverts to using the original arrangement.
- When Klinger is with the Father showing off his suit, Mulcahy does not recognize him at first, because he had never "seen him not in a dress before." This is incorrect; Mulcahy talks down a disturbed Klinger from blowing Frank up with a grenade in "Dear Dad". In that episode, Klinger is wearing his army fatigues.
- Henry's wife is still named Mildred at this point.
- When we see Margaret, her helmet is a plain M1 helmet with no officer's insignia. But in subsequent episodes, her helmet is similar to Frank's, with a gold oak leaf welded on.
- In the episode, the Army blows a 14-0 lead and Navy wins, 42-36. This does not match the score of any actual Army-Navy Game ever played, whether before, during, or after the war (although Navy did win the 1951 game 42-7). Had such a game actually been played, it would have been the highest-scoring Army-Navy game ever, with the two teams combining for 78 points.
- The highest-scoring Army-Navy Game in real life thus far was Navy's 58-12 win in 2002, with a total of 70 points. The only Army-Navy Game in which each team scored 30 or more points was the 1998 game, a 34-30 Army win.
- Ironically, both McLean Stevenson and Wayne Rogers had served in the US Navy during their tours of duty in real life. Likewise, Alan Alda and Jamie Farr also served in real life with the US army.
- Game show host Tom Kennedy briefly made an uncredited voice cameo as one of the radio play-by-play announcers for the Army-Navy game. This was verified by Kennedy himself in a 2003 interview. At the time the episode aired, he was hosting the quiz show Split Second on ABC.
- The MeTV version has several parts of this episode not in syndication (i.e., Klinger in a suit); a part left out is where Blake reveals that Tanker Washington, once a year, shoots out Blake's porch light in revenge for Blake ruining the Ohio State-Illinois football game years earlier.
- The radio announcer states that this is the 53rd Army-Navy game, calling it a "gridiron classic". The first Army-Navy game took place on November 29, 1890 (Navy won 24-0). There were several years where the Army-Navy game did not take place: 1894-1898, 1909, 1917-1918, and 1928-1929. The 53rd game took place on November 29, 1952, squarely in the middle of the Korean war. Navy beat Army 7-0.
- Anachronism: When Colonel Blake is talking with Commander Sturner about the bomb; a picture of an aircraft carrier is shown: the USS Kitty Hawk CV-63. The Kitty Hawk wasn't in service until May 21, 1960 - after the Korean war ended. This color print can be found by searching for "USN-0619-000-0008."
Recurring cast/Guest stars[]
- William Christopher as Father Mulcahy
- Jamie Farr as Maxwell Q. Klinger
- John Orchard as Captain John "Ugly John" Black
- Bobbie Mitchell as Nurse Mason
- Sheila Lauritsen as Nurse Hardy
- John A. Zee as Commander Sturner
- Alan Manson as Colonel Hersh
- Tom Kennedy as Play-by-play announcer (voice only; uncredited)