Monster M*A*S*H
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The Colonel's Horse is the 109th episode of M*A*S*H, and the 12th in the fifth season of the show, which originally aired on CBS-TV on December 7, 1976. It was directed by Burt Metcalfe, and written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum.

Storyline[]

Everybody pitches in to save Potter's horse Sophie, who becomes sick while he is away in Tokyo. And Margaret asks Hawkeye - NOT Frank - to operate on her appendix.

Full episode summary[]

Colonel Potter is about to leave for some R&R in Tokyo (with his wife Mildred, who is meeting him there). He leaves Radar in charge of taking care of Sophie while he is gone. As he is preparing to leave, Margaret informs him that her appendix is acting up and wants permission to go to Tokyo to get it removed. Potter suggests having the procedure done at the 4077th, but she reveals she doesn't want Frank, who handles routine surgeries, to touch her. She asks for Hawkeye to do the procedure, if necessary, and Potter agrees to tell him.

A few days later, Radar is shocked to find Sophie laying down in her corral, sick. He asks Hawkeye and B.J. for help. They try to beg off, but Radar finally guilts them into it. At first, they don't take it seriously and make so many jokes Radar gets mad at them for their indifference. Hawkeye and B.J. straighten up.

After examining Sophie and not being able to figure out what's wrong, they call B.J.'s father-in-law Floyd who is more familiar with veterinary medicine. When B.J. tells Floyd of Sophie's symptoms, he tells B.J. that the horse has colic, a potentially fatal blockage of the intestines due to eating too much dry grass or hay and not drinking enough water to help digest it.

Floyd's remedy is to keep Sophie on her feet and moving, and not let her lie back down as this will cause the intestines to stay blocked, and her insides will have to be flushed out with "lots and lots of warm water", a task that does not appeal to either Hawkeye or B.J. Nevertheless, they hook a hose up to the camp water tank, and with help from Father Mulcahy, Nurse Kellye and others in the camp, they fill the tank with warm water, sending it down the hose to the other end, where Hawkeye is handling the rough part. After a moment or two, Sophie whinnies loudly, kicking a wall of her corral - mission accomplished, and just in time for Potter to return to camp; He asks Radar how Sophie's doing. Radar assures him, "Clean as a whistle, inside and out!", and Potter is suitably delighted.

In a scene usually omitted from syndicated airings, Potter enters his office to find Klinger curled up on his desk, claiming to have severe depression. When the Colonel breaks out the coveted Section 8 form, Klinger breaks out in a song-and-dance in anticipation of being home with his wife Laverne. He stops mid-dance to realize he blew it, as Potter rips up the form ("Now I'm really depressed!"). Klinger cheers up when Potter tells him he got the red fabric he requested earlier and leaves. Frank comes in to complain of Hawkeye's behavior during Potter's absence. Potter has no interest in hearing them and dismisses the Major, who leaves, disappointed.

That night, Margaret staggers into the Swamp with a high fever and doubled over in pain - her appendix about to burst. Hawkeye grabs B.J. and they take her to the O.R. Potter and Mulcahy are there, too, and then Frank bursts in, demanding to perform the surgery, refusing to leave even after Margaret orders him out. Potter finally pushes Frank out of the OR as he shouts, "I hope you have a big scar!"

The next morning, both Hawkeye and Potter escort their respective patients for a stroll of the compound, both ladies recovering nicely.

Research notes/Fun facts[]

  • When making the call to his father-in-law, B.J. mentions his name as "Floyd Hayden." This could very well have been the actor Mike Farrell's father-in-law's actual name, as Mike Farrell's real-life wife (at the time) Judy Farrell's maiden name is Hayden. Additionally, Miss Farrell was born in Quapaw, Oklahoma. That is where Radar patches the call to B.J.'s father-in-law. Quapaw is in the extreme northeastern corner of the state of Oklahoma, and is thirty miles from Joplin, Missouri, while nearly 100 miles from Tulsa.
  • When Radar spells H-A-Y-D-E-N to Sparky when making the call, Hawkeye sarcastically quips "M-O-U-S-E", which is a reference to The Mickey Mouse Club. This is an anachronism, as Mickey Mouse Club debuted on television in 1955, two years after the Korean War ended.
  • The 1946 film Gilda (which Radar arranges to send to Sparky) was noted for a slightly-risque-for-its-day number by Rita Hayworth in which she seductively peels off her gloves. The 1933 film Ecstasy starring Hedy Lamarr - the mislabeled film that Radar actually sent - was positively scandalous for its time, and just as scandalous even 20 years later; Lamarr is seen nude in the film, and in the throes of passion.
  • Seems odd that Potter leaves for his trip in his green fatigues - every other time someone has left the camp on R&R, they always wore their Class A's.
  • Hawkeye reminds Radar that he helped him deliver his hamster's triplets, named "Manny, Moe, and Jack." Modern viewers may recognize the names of the mascots for the Pep Boys auto parts stores, and consider the names an anachronism. They might be surprised to learn that the company was founded in 1921.

Guest stars/Recurring cast[]

Uncredited appearances by:

External links[]

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